Big Decisions
A guide to being curious
Decisions.
Every day you make thousands of them…
What do you eat? what do you wear? who do you hang out with?
Unfortunately, we spend too much time deciding on things that don’t matter.
We don’t spend enough time deciding the important things:
What do you work on?
Where do you live?
Who are your mates?
These 3 decisions are the most important decisions you make in your life.
Yet, we are taught to rush them.
What do you work on?
From a young age, you are expected to decide what you want to do professionally and start applying for opportunities.
Whether it be universities, trade schools, or entry-level positions.
At this age, your brain’s decision-making abilities are far from fully formed.
Yet, you’re expected to spend years of your life and hundreds of thousands of dollars in unforgivable debt being locked into future paths.
The biggest mistake is not taking your time exploring what you want to work on.
At sixteen years old you may “want” to be a doctor.
Your friends and family then proudly encourage and “support you no matter what”.
Only to find out six years and lots of debt later that you don’t want to be a doctor!
Now you’re locked in with lost time, unforgivable debt, and others’ expectations.
Where are your friends and family to proudly support you then?
Your only responsibility when you are young is to explore.
Be curious, whether it’s teaching children, cooking, building cars, or painting.
Whether it takes you a year or a decade to discover your passion, that’s okay.
Just keep searching— and make sure you live light.
Exploring is easier when you don’t have a mortgage, student loans, or full closets— having real responsibilities makes being curious much harder.
Find your passion first.
Knowledge, expertise, and money will come later.
Once you find what you love to do— the rest is easy.
It’s not work, it’s play.
Where do you live?
Once you have an idea of what you want to work on…
The next decision is where to live.
If you want to build software— you should probably move to Silicon Valley.
If you want to work in finance— you should probably move to New York.
If you want to be in fashion— you should probably move to Paris or Milan.
Not putting yourself where opportunities are is a massive disadvantage.
“What about being close to family?”
Family is immensely important and should be a factor in your decision.
But life is short.
So be careful not to be shackled by other people’s expectations.
Don’t live for other people’s dreams.
Life is largely a single-player game— no one is in your head but you.
Everyone you know lives where they are now because at some point someone decided to move there for a better life.
Whether it was your immigrant parents or your ancestors deciding that moving to the nearest town was better than living in the forest…
It’s human instinct to move where you have a better life.
You should experiment with living in various places.
Immerse yourself in different cultures.
Learn what you value, gives you access to opportunities, and makes you happy.
Who are your mates?
After you spend a few years deciding:
What you will work on
Where you will live
The next decision is who are your mates?
“Mate” doesn’t just mean a life partner— but also “mates” as in your friends.
Who do you surround yourself with?
Well, you must ask yourself…
Does this person fit your values?
Does this person have qualities you admire?
If the answer to both of these two questions is not a strong “Yes”…
Politely move on.
Life is too short to spend time with those you can’t learn from.
You shouldn’t filter people by political opinions or by whether they like dogs over cats.
Your value systems should be values— not opinions others hold.
So what do you value most?
Honesty? Kindness? Honor? Humor? Intelligence?
You must design your own value system— no one can do it for you.
Then go in search of others of your kind.
Value humor? Go to comedy clubs.
Value kindness? Go volunteer for a good cause.
Value intelligence? Go play chess.
In the same way, you explore what you want to work on and where you live…
You must explore personal relationships in the same way.
Most of life’s wisdom can only be learned through exploration, trial, and error.
Find your tribe.